That Lazy Owner! That Reactive Dog! The Pitfalls of Labeling Our Clients
Risë VanFleet, PhD, CDBC (Certified Dog Behavior Consultant, IAABC) – www.playfulpooch.org
Courtesy of Risë Van Fleet & APDT
Appeared in APDT Chronicle of the Dog January/February 2012; 22-24
(All rights reserved)
Most likely, we all have used labels at times to describe our clients, be they human or canine:
That guy's a jerk...
The dog is aggressive...
The woman is lazy...
This puppy is balanced...
The dog is skittish...
The child is hyper...
That dog is dominant...
Those people have anger issues....
That couple is motivated...
Labels such as these provide a shorthand form of communication, and people often use them with the assumption that others understand exactly what they mean. Furthermore, sometimes when we label things, especially other people or dogs, it helps us feel as though we've figured things out, more aware of it and understand why labeling is generally not so good.
Cognitive therapy is one form of psychotherapy that is used to help people with their emotional reactions. The therapist guides clients to look at what they are thinking to themselves and how that influences the way they feel. Their thoughts can be distorted in a way that increases their emotional reactions, and therapists help clients recognize those distortions and replace those thoughts with more realistic and rational ones. It should be noted that everyone has distorted thinking from time to time. There are about fifteen major distortions, and labeling is one of them. For example, if a dog trainer leaves a class and thinks to himself, "That class was horrible. I'm such a failure at this. I can't do any more classes," he will probably feel pretty depressed. On the other hand, if that same trainer thinks, "Well, that class session didn't go as planned, but I've had other good classes and now I've got to think about how to make the next session go better," the trainer might feel unhappy (which would be normal), but not so depressed, and his energy is likely to come back as the improvement plan develops.
That guy's a jerk...
The dog is aggressive...
The woman is lazy...
This puppy is balanced...
The dog is skittish...
The child is hyper...
That dog is dominant...
Those people have anger issues....
That couple is motivated...
Labels such as these provide a shorthand form of communication, and people often use them with the assumption that others understand exactly what they mean. Furthermore, sometimes when we label things, especially other people or dogs, it helps us feel as though we've figured things out, more aware of it and understand why labeling is generally not so good.
Cognitive therapy is one form of psychotherapy that is used to help people with their emotional reactions. The therapist guides clients to look at what they are thinking to themselves and how that influences the way they feel. Their thoughts can be distorted in a way that increases their emotional reactions, and therapists help clients recognize those distortions and replace those thoughts with more realistic and rational ones. It should be noted that everyone has distorted thinking from time to time. There are about fifteen major distortions, and labeling is one of them. For example, if a dog trainer leaves a class and thinks to himself, "That class was horrible. I'm such a failure at this. I can't do any more classes," he will probably feel pretty depressed. On the other hand, if that same trainer thinks, "Well, that class session didn't go as planned, but I've had other good classes and now I've got to think about how to make the next session go better," the trainer might feel unhappy (which would be normal), but not so depressed, and his energy is likely to come back as the improvement plan develops.

(Photograph – by permission and courtesy of Risë VanFleet)
I caught myself labeling myself like this a few weeks ago. One of my well-trained dogs jumped up on some dog trainer friends and completely ignored my cues to sit for an embarrassing amount of time. After the incident, I thought to myself, "I'm a fraud. I'm just pretending to be a trainer; I just looked like a fool." I felt embarrassed and miserable for a while. Eventually, I reframed my thoughts, "Well, that wasn't such a great thing to happen, but lots of dog trainers have dogs who don't behave all the time. Even though I've trained her not to jump on me, I need to do some more work on her polite greetings when she is aroused around new people." I immediately felt better, with just a twinge of embarrassment remaining. Psychologist, heal thyself!
When an owner comes in and says, "My dog is dominant. He is deliberately trying to rule me," that person is using labeling as well as another cognitive distortion (mind reading), not to mention the application of inaccurate pack theory. These cognitive distortions lead to exaggerated frustration and anger.
In a final example, a dog trainer is exasperated because a client family has begun using an electronic collar once again, despite her best efforts to show them alternatives. She thinks to herself, "They are too lazy to even try what I told them. They are irresponsible with this dog," which makes her feel angry and disgusted. If she altered her thought patterns a bit, the intensity of her feelings might be reduced: "I'm disappointed but there must be some reason that they reverted to the e-collar. If I find out what that reason is, perhaps I can alter my priorities to help them feel better about the dog." The latter train of thought might help soften the trainer's anger and frustration and lead to more productive problem-solving.
The Problem with Labeling
In each of the examples above, the first part contains cognitive distortions, most prominently labeling. Why is labeling considered a distortion? There are three basic reasons.
First, people — and dogs — do not behave the same way in every situation. We have good days and bad days. We behave one way with some of our friends (dogs or humans), and we might behave a different way with others. Our behavior depends in part on the environment we are in. So when we label our human or canine clients (or ourselves), that label reflects only some of those individuals’ behaviors and it ignores a great deal of their other behaviors. (A dentist might call some patients "noncompliant" because they don't floss their teeth, but does this mean that the patients are always and totally noncompliant? Most people do brush their teeth — isn't that compliance, too?) So, even if a particular label fits some of the time, it's not an all-or-nothing thing (and this is yet another distortion: black-and white thinking.)
Second, if we apply labels to people or dogs, we stop learning about them. We have, in essence, fooled ourselves into thinking that we have figured them out. We stop paying attention, we stop hearing the communication, and we stop learning. The dog who is labeled "aggressive" begins to be seen through that particular lens, and the anxiety or medical problem beneath the behavior might go undetected. Labels often prevent us from seeking all the information needed to understand the individual as a whole and in context.
Third, labeling brings with it a problem of interpretation. When I tell you that a dog is anxious, do you really know what I mean? If I complain about an owner who is rigid, you might have an impression of the person, but do you really understand what I am dealing with? Probably not. The words we use in labeling tend to be general terms, not precise descriptions, so it is likely that people will have different interpretations of them. My idea of rigidity might be quite different from yours. When people use labels they often think they are communicating more effectively than they actually are because they assume that others interpret those labels the same way, when that often is not the case.
Labeling canines further compounds the interpretation problem because we are translating canine behavior and body language into our shorthand labels, which in turn can carry a different meaning to the owner or other canine professional with whom we are talking. Labels also have a way of becoming more rigid with time and use.
When an owner comes in and says, "My dog is dominant. He is deliberately trying to rule me," that person is using labeling as well as another cognitive distortion (mind reading), not to mention the application of inaccurate pack theory. These cognitive distortions lead to exaggerated frustration and anger.
In a final example, a dog trainer is exasperated because a client family has begun using an electronic collar once again, despite her best efforts to show them alternatives. She thinks to herself, "They are too lazy to even try what I told them. They are irresponsible with this dog," which makes her feel angry and disgusted. If she altered her thought patterns a bit, the intensity of her feelings might be reduced: "I'm disappointed but there must be some reason that they reverted to the e-collar. If I find out what that reason is, perhaps I can alter my priorities to help them feel better about the dog." The latter train of thought might help soften the trainer's anger and frustration and lead to more productive problem-solving.
The Problem with Labeling
In each of the examples above, the first part contains cognitive distortions, most prominently labeling. Why is labeling considered a distortion? There are three basic reasons.
First, people — and dogs — do not behave the same way in every situation. We have good days and bad days. We behave one way with some of our friends (dogs or humans), and we might behave a different way with others. Our behavior depends in part on the environment we are in. So when we label our human or canine clients (or ourselves), that label reflects only some of those individuals’ behaviors and it ignores a great deal of their other behaviors. (A dentist might call some patients "noncompliant" because they don't floss their teeth, but does this mean that the patients are always and totally noncompliant? Most people do brush their teeth — isn't that compliance, too?) So, even if a particular label fits some of the time, it's not an all-or-nothing thing (and this is yet another distortion: black-and white thinking.)
Second, if we apply labels to people or dogs, we stop learning about them. We have, in essence, fooled ourselves into thinking that we have figured them out. We stop paying attention, we stop hearing the communication, and we stop learning. The dog who is labeled "aggressive" begins to be seen through that particular lens, and the anxiety or medical problem beneath the behavior might go undetected. Labels often prevent us from seeking all the information needed to understand the individual as a whole and in context.
Third, labeling brings with it a problem of interpretation. When I tell you that a dog is anxious, do you really know what I mean? If I complain about an owner who is rigid, you might have an impression of the person, but do you really understand what I am dealing with? Probably not. The words we use in labeling tend to be general terms, not precise descriptions, so it is likely that people will have different interpretations of them. My idea of rigidity might be quite different from yours. When people use labels they often think they are communicating more effectively than they actually are because they assume that others interpret those labels the same way, when that often is not the case.
Labeling canines further compounds the interpretation problem because we are translating canine behavior and body language into our shorthand labels, which in turn can carry a different meaning to the owner or other canine professional with whom we are talking. Labels also have a way of becoming more rigid with time and use.
Avoiding the Pitfalls of Labeling

(Photograph – by permission and courtesy of Risë VanFleet)
We cannot expect ourselves to eliminate all labeling from our thinking or our conversations. The first step is to become more aware of when and how we are using labels, and how we are applying them to ourselves, other people, and the dogs with whom we live and work. Awareness is particularly important when negative emotions are involved. In fact, if you are experiencing a strongly negative reaction, it's time to ask, "Am I using labels in my thinking or in what I'm saying?" This awareness of our own tendency to label clients can help reduce our reliance on labels, especially when thinking about or discussing difficult subjects.
Second, instead of using a label, turn your focus to specific behaviors in different contexts. A "shy" dog may not always be shy. What does the dog do that gives you the impression of shyness? Does the dog lower its body, turn its head away, tuck its tail, and slink quickly away whenever someone new arrives at the home? Under what circumstances does the dog run toward people in a bouncing gait with ears pricked forward, tail wagging loosely, and mouth open? Turning vague labels into more precise behavioral descriptions provides much more useful information. If you find yourself thinking of a client as "lazy," ask yourself, "What is the client doing or saying that gives me that impression?" Perhaps the client has told you that she was unable to hold any training sessions in the previous week, while simultaneously telling you that the dog has not improved. The specific behavioral description focuses the problem (lack of follow-through at home) and allows you to begin troubleshooting rather than becoming unduly frustrated by the use of this rather accusatory label. This is a process that is needed for any labels in stressful situations — whether you are simply thinking them or you are discussing them with others aloud. Many dog trainers are quite good at describing canine body language in behavioral detail, but find it more difficult to do when communicating about human behavior. It's actually the same process: What is the person saying or doing that gives you the impression of that label you are tempted to use?
Third, remember that our interpretations of others' behaviors may not be accurate, or there may be other explanations than the one that seems most obvious to us. With our human clients, we often are confronted with behaviors and decisions that are perplexing, but we don't have to rely on internal interpretation alone. We can ask them. Privately you might wonder why this couple got a dog when they both work long hours and seemingly have no time to train or play with the dog. This is the type of situation that might prompt us to label them as jerks or yuppies or worse. Instead, you can turn your private question into one that you can gently ask the couple to get more information: "I know you're both super busy with your jobs. You probably had some expectations or hopes when you got this dog. What were you hoping that life with a dog would be like? What has been most surprising to you now that you have the dog?" Their replies can help you tease apart their motivations and expectations, as well as to find relevant ways to educate and reach them.
Fourth, when you feel distressed and have taken the steps above, it is best to shift your attention from the label to a plan of action. One can think endlessly about that "inappropriate" owner, but it accomplishes little except to intensify unpleasant feelings. Labels don't change anything and can make people feel helpless. Instead, turning attention to generating possible solutions and developing a plan of action counteracts that sense of helplessness. When in doubt, stop labeling and begin thinking of what might have an impact on the situation.
Finally, when it comes to labeling, it might be good to take a lesson from the dogs we love. They make observations of our specific behaviors in various contexts, and they don't generalize readily. Labeling is one form of generalization that it's best to minimize.
Risë VanFleet, PhD, CDBC, is a child/family psychologist and founder of the Playful Pooch Program in Boiling Springs, PA. She is the author of many books in the play therapy field, and her book, Play Therapy with Kids & Canines won the Planet Dog Foundation's Sit. Speak. Act. Award for best book on service and therapy dogs, as judged in the 2008 DWAA competition. Her series of articles, "Engaging Owners Fully in Dog Training" in the 2009 issues of The APDT Chronicle of the Dog won the DWAA Award for Best Subject Related Series in a Magazine. She conducts seminars on Animal Assisted Play Therapy, trains therapy dogs, and consults about canine behavior problems. She can be reached through www.playfulpooch.org or at [email protected].
Second, instead of using a label, turn your focus to specific behaviors in different contexts. A "shy" dog may not always be shy. What does the dog do that gives you the impression of shyness? Does the dog lower its body, turn its head away, tuck its tail, and slink quickly away whenever someone new arrives at the home? Under what circumstances does the dog run toward people in a bouncing gait with ears pricked forward, tail wagging loosely, and mouth open? Turning vague labels into more precise behavioral descriptions provides much more useful information. If you find yourself thinking of a client as "lazy," ask yourself, "What is the client doing or saying that gives me that impression?" Perhaps the client has told you that she was unable to hold any training sessions in the previous week, while simultaneously telling you that the dog has not improved. The specific behavioral description focuses the problem (lack of follow-through at home) and allows you to begin troubleshooting rather than becoming unduly frustrated by the use of this rather accusatory label. This is a process that is needed for any labels in stressful situations — whether you are simply thinking them or you are discussing them with others aloud. Many dog trainers are quite good at describing canine body language in behavioral detail, but find it more difficult to do when communicating about human behavior. It's actually the same process: What is the person saying or doing that gives you the impression of that label you are tempted to use?
Third, remember that our interpretations of others' behaviors may not be accurate, or there may be other explanations than the one that seems most obvious to us. With our human clients, we often are confronted with behaviors and decisions that are perplexing, but we don't have to rely on internal interpretation alone. We can ask them. Privately you might wonder why this couple got a dog when they both work long hours and seemingly have no time to train or play with the dog. This is the type of situation that might prompt us to label them as jerks or yuppies or worse. Instead, you can turn your private question into one that you can gently ask the couple to get more information: "I know you're both super busy with your jobs. You probably had some expectations or hopes when you got this dog. What were you hoping that life with a dog would be like? What has been most surprising to you now that you have the dog?" Their replies can help you tease apart their motivations and expectations, as well as to find relevant ways to educate and reach them.
Fourth, when you feel distressed and have taken the steps above, it is best to shift your attention from the label to a plan of action. One can think endlessly about that "inappropriate" owner, but it accomplishes little except to intensify unpleasant feelings. Labels don't change anything and can make people feel helpless. Instead, turning attention to generating possible solutions and developing a plan of action counteracts that sense of helplessness. When in doubt, stop labeling and begin thinking of what might have an impact on the situation.
Finally, when it comes to labeling, it might be good to take a lesson from the dogs we love. They make observations of our specific behaviors in various contexts, and they don't generalize readily. Labeling is one form of generalization that it's best to minimize.
Risë VanFleet, PhD, CDBC, is a child/family psychologist and founder of the Playful Pooch Program in Boiling Springs, PA. She is the author of many books in the play therapy field, and her book, Play Therapy with Kids & Canines won the Planet Dog Foundation's Sit. Speak. Act. Award for best book on service and therapy dogs, as judged in the 2008 DWAA competition. Her series of articles, "Engaging Owners Fully in Dog Training" in the 2009 issues of The APDT Chronicle of the Dog won the DWAA Award for Best Subject Related Series in a Magazine. She conducts seminars on Animal Assisted Play Therapy, trains therapy dogs, and consults about canine behavior problems. She can be reached through www.playfulpooch.org or at [email protected].
The Sit List
A list of things that dogs cannot do when sitting - shows just how important it is to have a solid sit! |
To Tug or Not to Tug?
Many people say that you should not play games of tug with your dog or else you are making your dog dominant - find out the facts. |
Time Alone
The importance of teaching your dog to enjoy time away from you cannot be under estimated. Find out why and how this should be taught. |