
HUGGING YOUR DOG
Guest Article by Barry McDonald – used with permission from Melissa Alexander
I'm confused about hugs for dogs... there have been references to Turid Rugaas' statement that dogs don't like to be hugged, and that we shouldn't hug them.

What Turid Rugaas has "observed," Patricia McConnell and others have studied and theorized about. In "The Other End of the Leash." (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!) McConnell explains it this way:
We, as primates, have arms with which to hug one another, and hugging is found in all primate species (ape, chimp, etc.) as an expression of love, endearment, support, or as a gesture of mutual fear or sadness. So humans naturally think of hugging as an expression of positive or supportive emotions.
Canines, on the other hand, being quadrupeds, do not have free "arms" and thus have evolved to have no understanding of a "hug." However, the closest gestures or body language that dogs have to a hug would be either mounting or placing a paw or head on top of another dog's neck or back. Aside from true sexual mounting, (which is indeed a rare occurrence with most dogs since, in America at least, most pet owners have their pets spayed or neutered, and even a fertile bitch's estrus occurs only two times a year), the great majority of mounting is dominance-seeking behavior. Placing a head or paws on top of another dog are also often assertions of dominance, which, if not accept submissively by the other dog, can turn into ritualized aggression. There are other common canine expressions of dominance that resemble aspects of a human hug, such as leaning, where an assertive or dominating dog will lean on another dog to make it move.
(An important and frequent exception to all of the above, however, is when dogs, especially puppies, are playing or play fighting. In these cases, the gestures still ultimately mean the same, but you can think of "playing" as being "rehearsal" or "pretend practice" for later when a dog may need to understand and use these communicative gestures in a real situation.)
The point that McConnell discusses very well and clearly in her new book is that to a dog, a hug (arm OVER its back or neck, leaning on it, confining it, etc.) most closely resembles several gestures of dominance. So we might expect that a dog that is not used to being hugged, or a dog who gets a hug from a stranger (or from a child who may take it a bit too far) might interpret the gesture as one of dominance or aggression and react accordingly.
As Jerri mentioned, there is also the "leaning over" part, where when we come into close contact with a dog, or go to pet or feed it from a standing position, we tend to place part of our bodies over and above the dog's body, which again can be viewed as an attempt to dominate.
Here comes the HOWEVER.
Since dogs are amazingly adaptable and trainable creatures, once a dog trusts a human (or a well socialized dog trusts all or most humans in most situations), it may well allow and enjoy a hug or close body contact from a human--the same type of contact that coming from a rival dog would be a signal to prepare for fight or flight. So the behavioral analysis I described above does not mean that you should not hug your own dogs.
I like to think of it in this way: When I hug my dogs or grab them or pick them up, I am a play partner, just like another friendly dog or sibling would be. So, as in play fighting, my gestures are accepted as play and not as real dominance-seeking or as a prelude to aggression.
(I said, "I like to think of it in this way..." but from the dog's point of view, it may be more a matter of acquiescing and submitting to me, the "boss" of the household, and of the continued reinforcements that seduce the dog into compliance. Although less satisfying to my romantic human view of bonding with and being loved by my dog, this interpretation is more in line with a scientific analysis of the behavior, and simplifies the picture by making our human hugs--from the dog's point of view-- no different in essence than the analogous dog body language. Those who insist on viewing their dogs as furry humans may disregard the above and go on making believe--as I will!--that our dogs stand by us out of sheer love and loyalty.)
I can tell you, though, that most of my five dogs, who I regard as thoroughly civil and well-trained, will show signs of discomfort and anxiety if I throw an arm around them and hug them--without letting go--for more than a few seconds. All animals have a "safety zone" or "social distance" which they normally require and demand. (Imagine your boss at work giving you instructions while standing an inch away from your body with his mouth only inches from yours.) Dogs need this same courtesy of social distance, but we humans often intrude into the dog's zone of safety without a thought. Have you ever tried lying close to your dog on the floor or in bed and had it push against you with its paws and straighten its legs? I think you are seeing in this action an automatic reflex that is the dog's attempt to regain some space.
I believe that allowing close "affectionate" human contact is an adaptation that the domesticated dog has made over the thousands of years of its evolution with humankind, and my best guess is that it is "a work in progress" and a behavior that many breeds and many individual dogs are still not 100% comfortable with.
So my list of Hugging Rules goes like this:
We, as primates, have arms with which to hug one another, and hugging is found in all primate species (ape, chimp, etc.) as an expression of love, endearment, support, or as a gesture of mutual fear or sadness. So humans naturally think of hugging as an expression of positive or supportive emotions.
Canines, on the other hand, being quadrupeds, do not have free "arms" and thus have evolved to have no understanding of a "hug." However, the closest gestures or body language that dogs have to a hug would be either mounting or placing a paw or head on top of another dog's neck or back. Aside from true sexual mounting, (which is indeed a rare occurrence with most dogs since, in America at least, most pet owners have their pets spayed or neutered, and even a fertile bitch's estrus occurs only two times a year), the great majority of mounting is dominance-seeking behavior. Placing a head or paws on top of another dog are also often assertions of dominance, which, if not accept submissively by the other dog, can turn into ritualized aggression. There are other common canine expressions of dominance that resemble aspects of a human hug, such as leaning, where an assertive or dominating dog will lean on another dog to make it move.
(An important and frequent exception to all of the above, however, is when dogs, especially puppies, are playing or play fighting. In these cases, the gestures still ultimately mean the same, but you can think of "playing" as being "rehearsal" or "pretend practice" for later when a dog may need to understand and use these communicative gestures in a real situation.)
The point that McConnell discusses very well and clearly in her new book is that to a dog, a hug (arm OVER its back or neck, leaning on it, confining it, etc.) most closely resembles several gestures of dominance. So we might expect that a dog that is not used to being hugged, or a dog who gets a hug from a stranger (or from a child who may take it a bit too far) might interpret the gesture as one of dominance or aggression and react accordingly.
As Jerri mentioned, there is also the "leaning over" part, where when we come into close contact with a dog, or go to pet or feed it from a standing position, we tend to place part of our bodies over and above the dog's body, which again can be viewed as an attempt to dominate.
Here comes the HOWEVER.
Since dogs are amazingly adaptable and trainable creatures, once a dog trusts a human (or a well socialized dog trusts all or most humans in most situations), it may well allow and enjoy a hug or close body contact from a human--the same type of contact that coming from a rival dog would be a signal to prepare for fight or flight. So the behavioral analysis I described above does not mean that you should not hug your own dogs.
I like to think of it in this way: When I hug my dogs or grab them or pick them up, I am a play partner, just like another friendly dog or sibling would be. So, as in play fighting, my gestures are accepted as play and not as real dominance-seeking or as a prelude to aggression.
(I said, "I like to think of it in this way..." but from the dog's point of view, it may be more a matter of acquiescing and submitting to me, the "boss" of the household, and of the continued reinforcements that seduce the dog into compliance. Although less satisfying to my romantic human view of bonding with and being loved by my dog, this interpretation is more in line with a scientific analysis of the behavior, and simplifies the picture by making our human hugs--from the dog's point of view-- no different in essence than the analogous dog body language. Those who insist on viewing their dogs as furry humans may disregard the above and go on making believe--as I will!--that our dogs stand by us out of sheer love and loyalty.)
I can tell you, though, that most of my five dogs, who I regard as thoroughly civil and well-trained, will show signs of discomfort and anxiety if I throw an arm around them and hug them--without letting go--for more than a few seconds. All animals have a "safety zone" or "social distance" which they normally require and demand. (Imagine your boss at work giving you instructions while standing an inch away from your body with his mouth only inches from yours.) Dogs need this same courtesy of social distance, but we humans often intrude into the dog's zone of safety without a thought. Have you ever tried lying close to your dog on the floor or in bed and had it push against you with its paws and straighten its legs? I think you are seeing in this action an automatic reflex that is the dog's attempt to regain some space.
I believe that allowing close "affectionate" human contact is an adaptation that the domesticated dog has made over the thousands of years of its evolution with humankind, and my best guess is that it is "a work in progress" and a behavior that many breeds and many individual dogs are still not 100% comfortable with.
So my list of Hugging Rules goes like this:
- Never try to hug or make close contact with a strange dog or one that is not fully accepting and trusting of you. Be particularly aware of the propensity of young children to hug "any" dog. (It is no coincidence that the majority of dog bites reported involve a child!)
- With newly made canine friends, avoid petting on the back and neck and head, as so many humans seem to like to do, and start by petting them on their chest, their bellies, or under their chins, as awkward as this may seem from a human point of view.
- Even with your own dogs that are accepting of close human contact, limit your "hugging" to what your dog will tolerate, and always look for the subtle signals that the "love of your life" may be getting a bit uncomfortable... and respect the dog's "space" by being satisfied with a shorter hug or by letting the dog take the lead in initiating and controlling the nature and length of the contact.
- Most importantly, for all dogs, realize that their toleration for hugging and the social distance they require changes from moment to moment, situation to situation. A dog that may enjoy a ten second squeeze at one time may react with extreme agitation after a two second hug at a different time.