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Honeymoon period - the first 3 weeks the dog is home
The first 3 weeks with the new shelter dog are crucial one’s and will set the tone and foundation of your future relationship.
by Scotty Valadao - Canine Behaviour Consultant (ABC of SA) ; TTouch Practitioner
www.fods.co.za
The first 3 weeks with the new shelter dog are crucial one’s and will set the tone and foundation of your future relationship.
by Scotty Valadao - Canine Behaviour Consultant (ABC of SA) ; TTouch Practitioner
www.fods.co.za
1.General
Offering a home to an adult shelter dog, we believe, is one of the most wonderful things that a person can do. Not only will you end up with a great new companion, you have taken a dog from an unbelievably stressful situation, and perhaps even saved it from an untimely end, and we have nothing but utter admiration for those that take this route – thank you!
When we take a pup into our homes, we are normally presented with a clean slate, and it is how we interact, socialize and train that pup which will produce the end result. Yes, there is always the aspect of nature (personality, genetics, hereditary) interfering in our nurturing attempts, but overall the possibility of a successful outcome is high if we do our side of things, such as socialize, training and so on, in the correct manner.
An adolescent or adult shelter dog can be a different kettle of fish, as the saying goes. The dog may have ended up in a shelter due to its owners relocating, downsizing, ill health or even death, and the dog may have been a well-behaved, well-loved member of the family, but this is not always the case.
It could be that the dog ended up in the shelter due to behavioural problems. What makes this especially sad is that if the owners had more knowledge of their dogs and how to handle them, so many of these abandoned dogs would have become well behaved members of the family rather than ended up as a statistic.
So often all that was lacking was insufficient mental, physical and social stimulation and the dog having had no, or very little basic ground rules put down. All may have gone reasonably well until the dog hit the adolescent stage when behaviour can break down and dogs can become difficult, and then due to the lack of the above, the dog’s behaviour deteriorates and it ends up in a shelter. It is no surprise that many dogs end up in a shelter between 6 – 18 months – the main adolescent period.
Even if the dog was a well behaved member of a family, we need to remember that this dog would have been in the strange, and often stressful environment of a shelter, which was nothing like its previous home – of course the dog would have been stressed; and then there is the stress involved with the move to the new home and we have to do all we can to help this new addition to our family make an easy transition.
Although those working at shelters and the volunteers do all they can to give each and every dog the love and attention it needs, there is just never enough time or enough hands to do what needs to be done, plus a shelter can never take the place of the home environment. Due to this shelter dogs are often so starved for attention that they tend to be a rather demanding and want to have the new owners all to themselves which can create problems if there are other dogs. Additionally if a situation does develop where the new dog does not want to let the owner out of their sight (understandable), then over dependency and possibly separation anxiety may develop – this is the last place you want to go!
It could be that the new dog tends to be over excited and finds it hard to calm down - this is also totally normal behaviour. However what is so important is that we put down the ground rules (or House Rules as we like to call them) from the very second the dog comes into the new home so it knows exactly where it stands.
Offering a home to an adult shelter dog, we believe, is one of the most wonderful things that a person can do. Not only will you end up with a great new companion, you have taken a dog from an unbelievably stressful situation, and perhaps even saved it from an untimely end, and we have nothing but utter admiration for those that take this route – thank you!
When we take a pup into our homes, we are normally presented with a clean slate, and it is how we interact, socialize and train that pup which will produce the end result. Yes, there is always the aspect of nature (personality, genetics, hereditary) interfering in our nurturing attempts, but overall the possibility of a successful outcome is high if we do our side of things, such as socialize, training and so on, in the correct manner.
An adolescent or adult shelter dog can be a different kettle of fish, as the saying goes. The dog may have ended up in a shelter due to its owners relocating, downsizing, ill health or even death, and the dog may have been a well-behaved, well-loved member of the family, but this is not always the case.
It could be that the dog ended up in the shelter due to behavioural problems. What makes this especially sad is that if the owners had more knowledge of their dogs and how to handle them, so many of these abandoned dogs would have become well behaved members of the family rather than ended up as a statistic.
So often all that was lacking was insufficient mental, physical and social stimulation and the dog having had no, or very little basic ground rules put down. All may have gone reasonably well until the dog hit the adolescent stage when behaviour can break down and dogs can become difficult, and then due to the lack of the above, the dog’s behaviour deteriorates and it ends up in a shelter. It is no surprise that many dogs end up in a shelter between 6 – 18 months – the main adolescent period.
Even if the dog was a well behaved member of a family, we need to remember that this dog would have been in the strange, and often stressful environment of a shelter, which was nothing like its previous home – of course the dog would have been stressed; and then there is the stress involved with the move to the new home and we have to do all we can to help this new addition to our family make an easy transition.
Although those working at shelters and the volunteers do all they can to give each and every dog the love and attention it needs, there is just never enough time or enough hands to do what needs to be done, plus a shelter can never take the place of the home environment. Due to this shelter dogs are often so starved for attention that they tend to be a rather demanding and want to have the new owners all to themselves which can create problems if there are other dogs. Additionally if a situation does develop where the new dog does not want to let the owner out of their sight (understandable), then over dependency and possibly separation anxiety may develop – this is the last place you want to go!
It could be that the new dog tends to be over excited and finds it hard to calm down - this is also totally normal behaviour. However what is so important is that we put down the ground rules (or House Rules as we like to call them) from the very second the dog comes into the new home so it knows exactly where it stands.
2.The Honeymoon Period
Our own experience of working with a shelter dog is that when it first comes to the new home there is what we refer to as the ‘twilight period or honeymoon period’. This is a time period of approximately 3 weeks wherein the dog seems to settle well, is reasonably well behaved and the behaviours that possibly caused it ending up in a shelter seem to either be put ‘on hold’ or have disappeared altogether. So often after the 3 week period is up, these dogs slowly and surely start to exhibit the unacceptable behaviours that ended them in the shelter in the first place, and this is when trouble can start occurring.
With pups there is a 16 week period where the pup is easily open to new experiences, locations etc and we have to do all we can at this time to maximize socialization as this is where we build the foundation of the pups future social foundation – after the 16 week period it becomes harder as the natural fear instincts will start to come into place.
We believe that the first 3 weeks (the honeymoon period) is as important as the 16 week period is with pups. During this period we need to put in as much effort as we can to gently mould the new dog into a well-loved and well-behaved member of our families. It does not stop there – ensure that over the next few weeks and months you keep up the work. Having all the basic House Rules in place and ensuring that the dogs mental and physical needs are met as well will make the transition easier and reduce the chances of problem behaviours occurring. The extra work is well worth it if as this new addition could be with you for in excess of 13 years.
If we bear in mind that this dog has already had its own experiences, some of which may not have been pleasant, has ‘learned’ behaviours, often developed to cope with its previous home and even in the shelter, is definitely traumatized to some degree by being in the shelter, then we can look at the dog with a new appreciation and understanding.
So, what do we do?
First and foremost, don’t feel sorry for the dog for having had a hard time in the past, even if there was known abuse – the past is just that – the past – this is one very lucky dog as it has ended up in a home with its new family and you are all off to a fresh start. The more we hold onto these feeling of pity towards the dog, the more we will hold it back – as the saying goes “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, which is why it is called the present” – focus on the present and daily do all you can to help your new dog settle into its wonderful new home, as you are indeed a gift to the dog!
As much as you want to hug and love this new dog and show him/her how happy you are that it has become part of your family – go slowly! This dog, apart from the stress of being in a shelter for a period of time, could have other stress factors that neither you nor the shelter know anything about.
We have found that bringing in the FOTD Dog Behaviour Sprays (previously Avalon Pure for Dogs Sprays) can make a huge difference in the manner in which the dog copes. These natural herbal sprays lower stress and help the dog to assimilate easier into the new environment. Additionally it is virtually impossible for us to learn anything new when we are stressed, so lowering the stress levels makes it easier for the dog to learn a new way of acting and interacting.
As Scotty is a TTouch Practitioner she knows the difference that TTouch can make; so even if you just do the Ear Touches and Noah’s March as well as the Acupressure Stroking technique which appear in the article on De-stressing & Physical and Mental Stimulation, these will help the dog to feel more relaxed. If at all possible, do consider attending a TTouch workshop as this very simple to learn modality can make an amazing difference in your dogs life.
Don’t bring the dog home and bombard it – allow it to sniff around outside and inside and let it settle itself as much as possible. Place some food and water in a position the dog can see and smell it, but don’t try to force it to eat. Put down a blanket, or crate with perhaps a stuffed Busy Buddy Squirrel Dude in it, and for the first 24 hours just allow the dog to come to terms with the new environment. As people, all dogs are different and some may settle down and act like they have lived in your home all their lives, but others will take a bit of time to adjust. It is important to ‘go with where the dog is at’, as we say in TTouch, so by all means, call the dog to see if it will go outside with you to inspect the toilet area and sniff around, but work at the dog’s pace. It may take a little longer, but you will be ensuring that the dog is not further stressed and this will make the integration easier.
If at all possible, find out from the shelter what brand of food is being given and at least for the first week or two stick with this, and also what times of day the dog is fed. This will ensure that some of the dog’s previous routines are being met and reduce stress and as soon as the dog is settled, you can gradually swap over to an alternative food if desired. When the dog is more settled, by all means start with the House Rules below.
Another important aspect is to provide adequete physical and mental stimulation and we have a separate article for you to find out about all the things you can do to provide this.
Our own experience of working with a shelter dog is that when it first comes to the new home there is what we refer to as the ‘twilight period or honeymoon period’. This is a time period of approximately 3 weeks wherein the dog seems to settle well, is reasonably well behaved and the behaviours that possibly caused it ending up in a shelter seem to either be put ‘on hold’ or have disappeared altogether. So often after the 3 week period is up, these dogs slowly and surely start to exhibit the unacceptable behaviours that ended them in the shelter in the first place, and this is when trouble can start occurring.
With pups there is a 16 week period where the pup is easily open to new experiences, locations etc and we have to do all we can at this time to maximize socialization as this is where we build the foundation of the pups future social foundation – after the 16 week period it becomes harder as the natural fear instincts will start to come into place.
We believe that the first 3 weeks (the honeymoon period) is as important as the 16 week period is with pups. During this period we need to put in as much effort as we can to gently mould the new dog into a well-loved and well-behaved member of our families. It does not stop there – ensure that over the next few weeks and months you keep up the work. Having all the basic House Rules in place and ensuring that the dogs mental and physical needs are met as well will make the transition easier and reduce the chances of problem behaviours occurring. The extra work is well worth it if as this new addition could be with you for in excess of 13 years.
If we bear in mind that this dog has already had its own experiences, some of which may not have been pleasant, has ‘learned’ behaviours, often developed to cope with its previous home and even in the shelter, is definitely traumatized to some degree by being in the shelter, then we can look at the dog with a new appreciation and understanding.
So, what do we do?
First and foremost, don’t feel sorry for the dog for having had a hard time in the past, even if there was known abuse – the past is just that – the past – this is one very lucky dog as it has ended up in a home with its new family and you are all off to a fresh start. The more we hold onto these feeling of pity towards the dog, the more we will hold it back – as the saying goes “yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, which is why it is called the present” – focus on the present and daily do all you can to help your new dog settle into its wonderful new home, as you are indeed a gift to the dog!
As much as you want to hug and love this new dog and show him/her how happy you are that it has become part of your family – go slowly! This dog, apart from the stress of being in a shelter for a period of time, could have other stress factors that neither you nor the shelter know anything about.
We have found that bringing in the FOTD Dog Behaviour Sprays (previously Avalon Pure for Dogs Sprays) can make a huge difference in the manner in which the dog copes. These natural herbal sprays lower stress and help the dog to assimilate easier into the new environment. Additionally it is virtually impossible for us to learn anything new when we are stressed, so lowering the stress levels makes it easier for the dog to learn a new way of acting and interacting.
As Scotty is a TTouch Practitioner she knows the difference that TTouch can make; so even if you just do the Ear Touches and Noah’s March as well as the Acupressure Stroking technique which appear in the article on De-stressing & Physical and Mental Stimulation, these will help the dog to feel more relaxed. If at all possible, do consider attending a TTouch workshop as this very simple to learn modality can make an amazing difference in your dogs life.
Don’t bring the dog home and bombard it – allow it to sniff around outside and inside and let it settle itself as much as possible. Place some food and water in a position the dog can see and smell it, but don’t try to force it to eat. Put down a blanket, or crate with perhaps a stuffed Busy Buddy Squirrel Dude in it, and for the first 24 hours just allow the dog to come to terms with the new environment. As people, all dogs are different and some may settle down and act like they have lived in your home all their lives, but others will take a bit of time to adjust. It is important to ‘go with where the dog is at’, as we say in TTouch, so by all means, call the dog to see if it will go outside with you to inspect the toilet area and sniff around, but work at the dog’s pace. It may take a little longer, but you will be ensuring that the dog is not further stressed and this will make the integration easier.
If at all possible, find out from the shelter what brand of food is being given and at least for the first week or two stick with this, and also what times of day the dog is fed. This will ensure that some of the dog’s previous routines are being met and reduce stress and as soon as the dog is settled, you can gradually swap over to an alternative food if desired. When the dog is more settled, by all means start with the House Rules below.
Another important aspect is to provide adequete physical and mental stimulation and we have a separate article for you to find out about all the things you can do to provide this.
3. House Rules
General - Combined Human-Canine Social Structure
In a human/canine household it is imperative that the owner is in charge of the combined human/canine social structure and the dog views the owner as being in charge (and the rest of the human family). What this will ensure is that the dog will feel more relaxed, as there is somebody in charge who acts in the manner the dog understands. Dogs have an extremely well developed social systems which results in order within the natural pack situation and leadership is of extreme importance.
We, as humans, have at our fingertips all the resources a dog requires - we determine where and when they eat, when they receive exercise, where they sleep, when they receive attention and how much, their access to different areas and even if or when they are allowed to mate – if you think about this we are already natural leaders – we are just not recognizing it and taking control of the resources we already have. The majority of behavioural problems/concerns arise when the dog does not view the owner (and the rest of the family) as being in charge in the combined human/canine social structure.
If we are not fulfilling that position properly, then the dog will simply try to fill that space itself, often leading to disastrous results. Although our dogs have developed and changed enormously in appearance over the years, the dogs’ (Canis familiaris) ancient ancestor was the wolf (Canis lupus) and the one thing that has remained constant is that there has to be a leader and this is where we, as the owners, can easily assume that position in a way that a dog understands and respects.
Being a leader also implies that it is you who decides when you award attention to a lower ranking pack member. This has to be the same for the whole family with their interactions with their dogs so that the dog realizes exactly where it’s position in the family actually is.
The Alpha in a dog or wolf pack is the dog that is the strongest, most intelligent and best fitted dog all round to lead the pack. The Alpha dog is not the dog that barks, fights (unless with a rival) and creates havoc – he is the dog that is calm, respected, looks after his pack, provides food, and ensures that his place is maintained by exhibiting these virtues. It is in the middle ranking of the pack that the ‘wannabees’ (I want to be the leader but have not learned how) are seen. These are the dogs that squabble amongst themselves, jump up, demand attention etc; they would never dare show this type of behaviour to the Alpha – it would simply not have been tolerated. Now in a family situation, every member of the family has to be higher in combined human/canine social structure than the dog.
There are several easy ways to achieve this and these should be incorporated into your daily life. If your dog feels that you are not acting in the manner it expects, then it will try to fill that space as we said before. Of course there will always be a degree of dissention, that is always the norm, as in families, but if basic House Rules are laid down and adhered too, the process will be so much easier and not only will the dog feel more comfortable and relaxed, any behaviour problems that could have been present in the old home are less likely to occur, and if they do, will not be as extreme and easier to both handle and change.
Do involve all members of the family in below and we suggest that these also apply to visitors coming to the home – a solid foundation is being formed.
Communication – NRM – Non-Reward Marker & RM – Reward Marker
So many of the problems that occur between people and their dogs are simply the result of a lack of understanding between the different species – the following are based on how dogs interact between themselves ‘tweaked’ to suit us human, but still easily recognizable to dogs.
So often we tell not just our kids, ‘NO’, we also tell our dogs the same thing, but what are they meant to do instead? A child will easily understand it can’t sit on the sofa because you have just washed it, a dog will not understand this especially if it is allowed on the sofa normally. It is absolutely impossible to tell a dog to do nothing, you have to give them something different to do (sit instead of jump up) or let them know what behaviour makes you happy. A dog, especially a dog deprived of attention, is an absolute glutton for attention, and even negative attention, in the way of us shouting and screaming (and heavens forbid smacking!) can be deemed attention to an attention deficient dog. Unfortunately behaviour such as shouting and screaming will just result in the behaviour we don’t want getting worse – attention is attention to a dog, whether negative or positive. Especially to a dog that is desperate for attention – it will keep on repeating the behaviours we don’t want simply because we pay attention to the unacceptable behaviour.
In order for the dog to know exactly what we do, and do not accept, we suggest you put in place the Non-Reward Marker, otherwise known as the NRM. The use of the NRM is wonderful, as by using a cue such as ‘uhuh’ you are being consistent with what you don’t want. This one simple word can be used in a soft gentle tone to indicate to your dog that you don’t like the way it sat squinty in front of you when training, or at the top of your voice when your sweet little dog suddenly turned into a hunter and decided to attack the cat from next door.
Now, what is extremely important here is not just let your dog know what you don’t want – tell it what you do want. How? Simply saying ‘good girl/boy’ when the dog stops the undesirable behaviour in a non-committal tone of voice – we are then ‘marking’ the behaviour we do want. We don’t go overboard with praise, or ask for a Sit – we just say ‘good dog’ – not even the dog’s name. An example would be that the dog places its front leg on the table - as the dog is doing this ‘UHUH! - the second the feet touch the floor – ‘good dog’.
Now how easy is that – you have opened up lines of communication in such an easy manner – it is almost like having your very own language with the dog.
We do suggest using a word such as ‘uhuh’, because ‘no’ could well have been used over and over and not achieved the desired result and has become white noise to the dog. What is important however is that this new cue is to be used consistently, by all members of the family and remember to praise the dog, quietly (like saying thank you when I pass you a glass of water) the second the undesirable behavior stops. Doing it only spasmodically will only achieve confusion for the dog and very well reinforce the behaviour you don’t want.
Basic House rules
The basic House Rules addressed here which are aimed to place you and the family higher in the combined canine/human pack and are the following: -
1. Ignoring your dog when you arrive home, then calling, asking for a sit after the dog has calmed down or walked away.
2. Ignore all demanding attention. Attention is given on your terms or not at all.
3. Work to earn – no more freebees!
In addition to these simple House Rules above, we suggest that you decide as a family what the dog will, and will not, be allowed to do and stick to these to avoid confusion for the dog. An example of this would be whether the dog would be allowed on furniture, the bed or even if giving food at the table is allowed. It is much easier to start off with good habit rather than changing a bad habit at a later stage.
1. Ignoring your dog when you arrive home;
This exercise to be carried out in silence until the dog has a total understanding of what you expect. What is crucial here is that this exercise takes place the second you have your first interaction with the dog – the same as would occur if the dog was returning to its pack in the wild.
Your dog would not bound up to the leader of the pack and jump all over him and demand attention, so why should your dog do this to you? Granted pups do have a certain time of ‘puppy license’ where the behaviour may be allowed but this is not behaviour that would be tolerated in the long term. If we relate this situation to human terms, would you allow your child to come up to you and say “I want it, give it to me now!!!” – I hope not! – You would probably say something along the lines of “when you can ask me in the correct manner and say please, we will see what can be done” or similar. We teach our children to be well-behaved, well-mannered members of society, so why then do we not teach our dogs the same thing? Simple, we just haven’t thought about it that way and you did not have the skill to ‘speak dog’.
By walking into the house, standing still the second you see your dog you are giving the message that you are in control – attention is given on your terms, or not at all. Interestingly, we find that this exercise is the hardest one for owners to adhere too and it is one of the most important one’s – if you do not carry this through correctly, you are immediately limiting your chances of success. The importance of human/canine interaction is to be consistent, otherwise you are reinforcing the behaviours you don’t want and totally confusing the dog. Yes, I know we keep repeating this point – that is how important it is and needs to be repeated.
When changing behaviour it is always a good idea to bring in a treat in addition to praise – this will help the dog learn faster and it will be in the dog’s interests to change the current behaviour. Due to this, we recommend that you keep some pieces of biltong or similar in your car and have a few pieces in your pocket for this exercise to award to your dog.
As you walk in, the second you first see your dog, STAND STILL, ignore the dog, do not look at it or speak to it, and if necessary utilize your own body language to get the message across – turn your head away and even fold your arms which shows that you do not want your own personal space violated. Dogs are masters of body language – they do not sit around and have bone parties – they mostly communicate between themselves with body language, and this is what we are now doing – we are showing the dog with our bodies that we do not accept the current behaviour.
The dog may initially think you have gone mad and the behaviour will worsen as it is not used to what you are doing and is a bit stressed (a bit like a child throwing a tantrum) and it will try to jump up more, demand attention or even bark. Simply push the dog gently off you remembering not to look at (this signals either aggression or that we want something from the dog) or talk to it, and if the dog is barking, just ignore this.
After a time (this will depend on the dog and how bad the current behaviour is – could be a few seconds or minutes or longer) the dog will settle down, walk away or find something else to do. As the dog gives up, count up to 5 which allows it this time out to digest the change in circumstances for a few seconds, then in a happy cheerful voice, call the dog to you, and ask for a sit and praise quietly and offer a treat. It is impossible to tell a dog to do nothing, what we are doing instead, is showing the dog what behaviour we do expect i.e. sitting quietly and waiting to be greeted. The reason we are only waiting 5 seconds initially is so that the dog can easily figure out what behaviour results in it being ignored and what behaviour results in attention. This period can be extended, as the dog understands what is required of it.
Thereafter you can give the dog all the love you want too and we suggest that you walk a little away from the door to do this. This will help the dog to be calm when visitors arrive as well. We are not telling our dogs we do not love them – we are acting in the manner the dog expects and the result will be a better balanced and better behaved dog that feels more secure.
With regard to the treat being offered, once the dog has a full understanding of the behaviour you do want, you can start to fade the reward by only awarding the treat about every third time and gradually reducing further. Praise and attention from ourselves should be more important than food rewards, however bringing in food rewards to change behaviour, does make it easier and quicker to achieve.
General - Combined Human-Canine Social Structure
In a human/canine household it is imperative that the owner is in charge of the combined human/canine social structure and the dog views the owner as being in charge (and the rest of the human family). What this will ensure is that the dog will feel more relaxed, as there is somebody in charge who acts in the manner the dog understands. Dogs have an extremely well developed social systems which results in order within the natural pack situation and leadership is of extreme importance.
We, as humans, have at our fingertips all the resources a dog requires - we determine where and when they eat, when they receive exercise, where they sleep, when they receive attention and how much, their access to different areas and even if or when they are allowed to mate – if you think about this we are already natural leaders – we are just not recognizing it and taking control of the resources we already have. The majority of behavioural problems/concerns arise when the dog does not view the owner (and the rest of the family) as being in charge in the combined human/canine social structure.
If we are not fulfilling that position properly, then the dog will simply try to fill that space itself, often leading to disastrous results. Although our dogs have developed and changed enormously in appearance over the years, the dogs’ (Canis familiaris) ancient ancestor was the wolf (Canis lupus) and the one thing that has remained constant is that there has to be a leader and this is where we, as the owners, can easily assume that position in a way that a dog understands and respects.
Being a leader also implies that it is you who decides when you award attention to a lower ranking pack member. This has to be the same for the whole family with their interactions with their dogs so that the dog realizes exactly where it’s position in the family actually is.
The Alpha in a dog or wolf pack is the dog that is the strongest, most intelligent and best fitted dog all round to lead the pack. The Alpha dog is not the dog that barks, fights (unless with a rival) and creates havoc – he is the dog that is calm, respected, looks after his pack, provides food, and ensures that his place is maintained by exhibiting these virtues. It is in the middle ranking of the pack that the ‘wannabees’ (I want to be the leader but have not learned how) are seen. These are the dogs that squabble amongst themselves, jump up, demand attention etc; they would never dare show this type of behaviour to the Alpha – it would simply not have been tolerated. Now in a family situation, every member of the family has to be higher in combined human/canine social structure than the dog.
There are several easy ways to achieve this and these should be incorporated into your daily life. If your dog feels that you are not acting in the manner it expects, then it will try to fill that space as we said before. Of course there will always be a degree of dissention, that is always the norm, as in families, but if basic House Rules are laid down and adhered too, the process will be so much easier and not only will the dog feel more comfortable and relaxed, any behaviour problems that could have been present in the old home are less likely to occur, and if they do, will not be as extreme and easier to both handle and change.
Do involve all members of the family in below and we suggest that these also apply to visitors coming to the home – a solid foundation is being formed.
Communication – NRM – Non-Reward Marker & RM – Reward Marker
So many of the problems that occur between people and their dogs are simply the result of a lack of understanding between the different species – the following are based on how dogs interact between themselves ‘tweaked’ to suit us human, but still easily recognizable to dogs.
So often we tell not just our kids, ‘NO’, we also tell our dogs the same thing, but what are they meant to do instead? A child will easily understand it can’t sit on the sofa because you have just washed it, a dog will not understand this especially if it is allowed on the sofa normally. It is absolutely impossible to tell a dog to do nothing, you have to give them something different to do (sit instead of jump up) or let them know what behaviour makes you happy. A dog, especially a dog deprived of attention, is an absolute glutton for attention, and even negative attention, in the way of us shouting and screaming (and heavens forbid smacking!) can be deemed attention to an attention deficient dog. Unfortunately behaviour such as shouting and screaming will just result in the behaviour we don’t want getting worse – attention is attention to a dog, whether negative or positive. Especially to a dog that is desperate for attention – it will keep on repeating the behaviours we don’t want simply because we pay attention to the unacceptable behaviour.
In order for the dog to know exactly what we do, and do not accept, we suggest you put in place the Non-Reward Marker, otherwise known as the NRM. The use of the NRM is wonderful, as by using a cue such as ‘uhuh’ you are being consistent with what you don’t want. This one simple word can be used in a soft gentle tone to indicate to your dog that you don’t like the way it sat squinty in front of you when training, or at the top of your voice when your sweet little dog suddenly turned into a hunter and decided to attack the cat from next door.
Now, what is extremely important here is not just let your dog know what you don’t want – tell it what you do want. How? Simply saying ‘good girl/boy’ when the dog stops the undesirable behaviour in a non-committal tone of voice – we are then ‘marking’ the behaviour we do want. We don’t go overboard with praise, or ask for a Sit – we just say ‘good dog’ – not even the dog’s name. An example would be that the dog places its front leg on the table - as the dog is doing this ‘UHUH! - the second the feet touch the floor – ‘good dog’.
Now how easy is that – you have opened up lines of communication in such an easy manner – it is almost like having your very own language with the dog.
We do suggest using a word such as ‘uhuh’, because ‘no’ could well have been used over and over and not achieved the desired result and has become white noise to the dog. What is important however is that this new cue is to be used consistently, by all members of the family and remember to praise the dog, quietly (like saying thank you when I pass you a glass of water) the second the undesirable behavior stops. Doing it only spasmodically will only achieve confusion for the dog and very well reinforce the behaviour you don’t want.
Basic House rules
The basic House Rules addressed here which are aimed to place you and the family higher in the combined canine/human pack and are the following: -
1. Ignoring your dog when you arrive home, then calling, asking for a sit after the dog has calmed down or walked away.
2. Ignore all demanding attention. Attention is given on your terms or not at all.
3. Work to earn – no more freebees!
In addition to these simple House Rules above, we suggest that you decide as a family what the dog will, and will not, be allowed to do and stick to these to avoid confusion for the dog. An example of this would be whether the dog would be allowed on furniture, the bed or even if giving food at the table is allowed. It is much easier to start off with good habit rather than changing a bad habit at a later stage.
1. Ignoring your dog when you arrive home;
This exercise to be carried out in silence until the dog has a total understanding of what you expect. What is crucial here is that this exercise takes place the second you have your first interaction with the dog – the same as would occur if the dog was returning to its pack in the wild.
Your dog would not bound up to the leader of the pack and jump all over him and demand attention, so why should your dog do this to you? Granted pups do have a certain time of ‘puppy license’ where the behaviour may be allowed but this is not behaviour that would be tolerated in the long term. If we relate this situation to human terms, would you allow your child to come up to you and say “I want it, give it to me now!!!” – I hope not! – You would probably say something along the lines of “when you can ask me in the correct manner and say please, we will see what can be done” or similar. We teach our children to be well-behaved, well-mannered members of society, so why then do we not teach our dogs the same thing? Simple, we just haven’t thought about it that way and you did not have the skill to ‘speak dog’.
By walking into the house, standing still the second you see your dog you are giving the message that you are in control – attention is given on your terms, or not at all. Interestingly, we find that this exercise is the hardest one for owners to adhere too and it is one of the most important one’s – if you do not carry this through correctly, you are immediately limiting your chances of success. The importance of human/canine interaction is to be consistent, otherwise you are reinforcing the behaviours you don’t want and totally confusing the dog. Yes, I know we keep repeating this point – that is how important it is and needs to be repeated.
When changing behaviour it is always a good idea to bring in a treat in addition to praise – this will help the dog learn faster and it will be in the dog’s interests to change the current behaviour. Due to this, we recommend that you keep some pieces of biltong or similar in your car and have a few pieces in your pocket for this exercise to award to your dog.
As you walk in, the second you first see your dog, STAND STILL, ignore the dog, do not look at it or speak to it, and if necessary utilize your own body language to get the message across – turn your head away and even fold your arms which shows that you do not want your own personal space violated. Dogs are masters of body language – they do not sit around and have bone parties – they mostly communicate between themselves with body language, and this is what we are now doing – we are showing the dog with our bodies that we do not accept the current behaviour.
The dog may initially think you have gone mad and the behaviour will worsen as it is not used to what you are doing and is a bit stressed (a bit like a child throwing a tantrum) and it will try to jump up more, demand attention or even bark. Simply push the dog gently off you remembering not to look at (this signals either aggression or that we want something from the dog) or talk to it, and if the dog is barking, just ignore this.
After a time (this will depend on the dog and how bad the current behaviour is – could be a few seconds or minutes or longer) the dog will settle down, walk away or find something else to do. As the dog gives up, count up to 5 which allows it this time out to digest the change in circumstances for a few seconds, then in a happy cheerful voice, call the dog to you, and ask for a sit and praise quietly and offer a treat. It is impossible to tell a dog to do nothing, what we are doing instead, is showing the dog what behaviour we do expect i.e. sitting quietly and waiting to be greeted. The reason we are only waiting 5 seconds initially is so that the dog can easily figure out what behaviour results in it being ignored and what behaviour results in attention. This period can be extended, as the dog understands what is required of it.
Thereafter you can give the dog all the love you want too and we suggest that you walk a little away from the door to do this. This will help the dog to be calm when visitors arrive as well. We are not telling our dogs we do not love them – we are acting in the manner the dog expects and the result will be a better balanced and better behaved dog that feels more secure.
With regard to the treat being offered, once the dog has a full understanding of the behaviour you do want, you can start to fade the reward by only awarding the treat about every third time and gradually reducing further. Praise and attention from ourselves should be more important than food rewards, however bringing in food rewards to change behaviour, does make it easier and quicker to achieve.
2. Demanding Attention
As in the exercise above this exercise to be carried out in silence with your body indicating your displeasure as above – turn away, fold your arms, stern face and no talking.
In a dog pack, demanding attention from the pack leaders, and indeed, any dog higher in the pack, would simply not be tolerated. If a higher-ranking member wanted to play or interact, it would be that particular dog that would initiate the interaction and if it did not want to interact, it would perhaps turn its head or body away and if the other dog persevered would react in a stronger manner.
We are not always aware how often our dogs do demand attention from us; they often do it without us realizing it especially in the case of a shelter dog that is desperate for the attention and because we feel sorry for them and just want to make them happy, we give into the dogs need for love – we are doing these dogs a dis-service, treating them in the manner laid out herein will result in a dog that feels more secure, loved and happier all-round.
It may be a case of the dog jumping onto the chair and sitting on our lap or next to us, bringing a toy to be played with, insisting on a tummy rub, nudging us, mouthing us, pawing us, barking or whining for attention, placing a head on our lap and looking at us with adoring eyes, etc.
When the dog exhibits the demanding behaviour, ignore the dog completely. If you are sitting on the chair and the dog comes up and tries to interact with you, turn your head and body away and don’t talk to the dog. If the dog becomes persistent and tries to jump up, without looking or talking to it, put it gently back on the floor. If it continues, stand up and move to another chair where it can’t jump onto.
Now, as we have mentioned before, it is impossible to teach a dog to do nothing – we must either teach a totally alternative behaviour (such as teaching a dog that jumps out of the car the second the door opens, to sit quietly until requested to jump out) or indicate to the dog what we do want.
So, as in the exercise above, once the dog has given up and walked away, we wait 5 seconds and then call it back, ask for a Sit and then give all the attention you want too – once again we are not telling our dogs we don’t love them – we are saying that attention and love will be given on our terms but not the dogs. Again, this results in a dog knowing exactly where it stands and it will be more relaxed and assimilate into the family a lot easier.
3. Work to Earn
As we all have to ‘work for our living’ so to does the dog from now on. If we relate this to pack behaviour, every single dog has a job, or combined jobs to perform – looking after the pups, guarding the pack, cleaning the den (faeces), hunting for food etc. So if you look at it that way, why not have your dog working for its living? Think about it, each and every one of us works in some way or another. We work to earn money to look after our families and pay the bills – the children work at school to receive good marks – our kids have to do certain chores to get pocket money and so on. The more you take control of all the resources, the more your dog will view you, and the rest of the family, as higher up in the combined human/canine social structure and will be more likely to relax knowing you are in charge and not try to fill this position itself. This will result in improved behaviour and less likelihood of bad habits developing or reappearing.
With our 10 fingers we supply all our dogs needs – food, walks, play, petting, exercise etc and this together with our voices gives us excellent tools with which to work to control our dogs.
Here are some ideas you can incorporate. The list is really endless and the more you do the more the dog will listen and regard you (and all family members) as being in charge: -
Some examples using the Sit exercise :-
- You call the dog back after ignoring it in the avoiding demanding exercise above, and before you award attention you ask the dog to sit.
- The dog has to sit before being given its food.
- Sit before going out the door, up or down the stairs or in and out of the car.
- A Sit is requested before the ball is thrown or a game of tuggies starts.
- The dog sits before it’s Busy Buddy Squirrel Dude or toy is given.
- The dog is expected to sit before collar and lead are put on.
The list is endless and you can bring in what suits best.
Additionally, start to feed as much of the daily ration of food by hand as you can and if possible, take the daily ration of food and feed throughout the day. Dont just stand in one place and do this - move around the home - call your dog and ask for a sit and then reward with a few pieces of kibble. Take a few more steps and repeat. Do this all over the home and even in the garden and outside on walks - you are automatically making yourself a very important resource and at the same time teaching good manners.
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